The sad thing is, for a craigslist ad this one’s pretty good! Even priced about right!
“We have a 10 year old registered sorrel broode mare for sale or trade. Her registered name is POCO KING BAR DUNDEE. Her Sire(Father) is POCO PRONTO BAR. Her Dam(mother) is SKIPS RAVEN KEO.
She has been ridden in the past but we have raised two colts from her. She shoes, baths, and loads. She is a gentle horse and a very good mother.
we are asking $350 ob”
Top reasons to breed this mare:
- She’s got a real purdy kolur
- She’s got four usable legs
- She ain’t doing anything else!
- They’ve got an above ground pool
- She looks like she might be the only horse on the property so clearly needs a friend (that one’s actually true, but we prefer an older, less vet-prone, friend than a baby)
- She’s got a reeeeeeeal long back so there must be a lot of room in there for a baby right?
- You can breed her to a good stallion and get a better conformed baby! Right? That’s how it works?
- She’s registered
And the number one reason to breed this mare?
- She’s got a uterus!
Ok, your turn! Why would you breed this “lovely” mare?
Please answer using one of the following formats:
I’m an asshat and would breed this mare because…
I’m a backyard breeder who doesn’t have all my own teeth and would breed this mare because…
We decided to take a detour from our usual craigslist hangout and ventured over to equine.com where we were immediately greeted with a zebra for sale. No joke.
RARE Trained, Sweet, Loving Zebra! $20,000
“Joey is a rare-ety and and certainly an eye-catcher. I have taken him to functions and demos and used him around the community. He is not dominant in the field, however, he does like to stut his stuff. I keep him in the horse fence with the other horses and he has never tried to escape or run away. When he does get out, he tried to come through the door! He has a lot of personality. I have yet to have a dull moment with him. Joey was used for professional model shoots. I also so happened to grab Joey just before HBO did. They intended on using him for a sitcom or show; not too much info on that though. I mostly ride him bareback with just a halter. He has been on trails with other horses and is afraid of nothing! He is the first to come to you in a field and likes to be handled. I have never had him buck or rear.
He is the most friendly animal that I have even been around.
He is very in your face and LOVES people.
I do ride hime in the arena and on the trails with a saddle and bareback.
He is a SUPER easy keeper!! (Kept on hay and grass all year)
He sucks on the side on your hand (photo 2)!
He does not like his ears being touched.
Because he is so in-your-face, it can be scary for non-horse people. “
|Foal Date||Jan 2005|
|Disciplines||Western Riding (Trained)
Trail Horse (Trained)
|Temperament||4 (1=Bombproof, 10=Hot)|
Yeah, he probably hasn’t tried to buck or rear with you on him because YOUR TOES HANG PAST HIS KNEES! Sweetheart, as skinny as you are, you’re too damn big for him! Doesn’t he look thrilled in the video? Usually we’d give someone hell for not wearing a helmet on an equine’s first ride, but in this case her feet are never more than 6 inches away from the ground, so we’ll let it pass. Plus in the comments his prior owners show up and claim that this is HER first ride on him, not HIS first ride. Hmmm…
Also, he’s “so in-your-face” because you haven’t put proper training into him and the fact that you think that behavior is ok, makes us wonder what kind of “horse person” you are. And hey, it looks like he does have a bit of a rear in him!
There were more pictures, but they seemed to be gravitating towards gratuitous shots of cleavage and long, blonde hair, so we left them out!
Anyone else catch that Joey’s disciplines are listed as western riding (trained), trail horse (trained) and halter (prospect). We were unaware there are halter classes for zebras. Perhaps they are more popular on the plains of Virginia [insert eye roll here].
We took a quick peek at wiki to see what they had to say about the domestication of zebras. Apparently it can be done! And has been since the 1900′s. But the reason riding zebras was never more than a fad for the rich and silly? Because these animals continue to live amongst lions (and tigers and bears, oh my!) and thus are considerably more unpredictable than horses and have a “tendency to panic under stress”.
So now that we’ve established riding a zebra isn’t completely insane, what is? Returning to Joey’s purported disciplines and price: For a mere $20,000 you can buy a beast of burden to ride in a western saddle on the trails that is significantly more likely to spook, bolt and just basically lose his shit. Sure, he’s a “rare-ety”, but he’s not that rare. There are zebra breeders in the US and they typically have animals starting at $3-4k. Twenty grand will get you animal that’s trained to do a lot more than walk grumpily around a ring with you on it’s back. Which is all you’ve shown this guy to do!
So basically you want $20,000 for what amounts to a lawn ornament. We admit, he’s adorable and could be a great lawn ornament with more, and consistent, training. But more likely than not another asshat (yup, we’re including the seller as an asshat) is going to say “Ooooh look! A zebra! I’ll be the only one I know with one of those! I must have it! My preciousssss.” And poor little Joey is going to end up in a stall or a field by himself with someone who doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing. Point of clarification, zebras are even more social than horses and need more space to roam (hi, plains animal!). Those zebra breeders we mentioned? Everyone we saw had big disclaimers about “Approved Home Only” and what additional needs a zebra would have as opposed to a domesticated equine. Some things to consider prior to purchasing a zebra can be found in this article (found it on an odd site though…). According to this short article, zebras need an 8 foot fence (to keep out rampaging sasquatches? sasquatchi?) and if your winter gets pretty cold, you should be prepared to snuggle up with your zebra to keep them warm on those long, cold, lonely nights.
Woohoo he’s HYPP negative! We’re shocked; we were certain Impressive bred a herd of zebras. Uh-oh, maybe he won’t make it as a halter “horse” then…
PS. Don’t forget the alt text!
Just some of the shit you should be prepared for should you decide to purchase a zebra:
We couldn’t find any at the market or eating roast beef, so we came up with our own version…
This little piggy plays piano,
This little piggy gets wet,
This little piggy explores San Fransisco,
This little piggy learns to sit!
Ok so there was a bit of a downfall in communication and neither of us prepared a post for today! Seriously, one of these day’s we’ll get our collective shit together! lol But I figured this could be a good opportunity to let those of you who aren’t following us over at Fugly Blog about the rescue network database we’ve started – although now that I’m typing this out I’m wondering if I didn’t already mention something earlier… oh well if I did then this is just a reminder!
What the dealio is: Our first week on the job over at Fugly we received an email from someone concerned about the welfare of her neighbors horse and didn’t know what she could do to help it or who she should contact. Well, we didn’t know either so we forwarded her email to a friend with an excellent rescue who has a lot of contacts within the industry. Luckyily, she was able to help and this horse received the vet care it desperately needed. This whole thing got us thinking about how we could help horses and other people in this situation – because this woman certainly couldn’t be the only one with questions!
So we’ve decided to act as kind of a hub. Questions, concerns, etc. can be emailed to us either at Fugly Blog (email@example.com) or here (firstname.lastname@example.org) and we will forward the email on to someone in that particular geographic area who has volunteered to help. Right now we’re building up the database and are looking for people who have experience with rescues (either volunteering, working with, or running) that would be willing to answer questions and looking in to the occasional situation.
All database contact information will be kept confidential – whenever we receive an inquiry we’ll forward it on to those we think would be able to help and they can either respond directly to the original emailer or send us the info to send out. Our ultimate goal is to help the horses so if that means we do a little extra work and coordination then we’re happy to do it.
We’re concentrating on building the database throughout North America for now but that’s not to say if you’re in the UK or Australia that we don’t want to hear from you!
Please help us out by sharing this with your friends and horse-world contacts – both in person and via social media! We’d really appreciate any help
You’re doing it wrong!
That extreme head carriage and gaping mouth are signs that this mare is trying desperately to avoid her rider’s hands. By traveling this way, dear “Freedom” also denies her rider access to her hindquarters and hocks – and thus never properly engages from behind. See how those hindlegs aren’t even close to tracking up? And while we know the ideal is different in the Western world (sitting in that kind of a chair seat would get you laughed out of the ring in an English barn!), they’re advertising her as a DRESSAGE PROSPECT.
WTF? For starters, she’s nine. And she’s been ridden “mostly trails with busy streets”. Did they see some (unfortunately common) pictures of a dressage horse moving behind the vertical and go hey, my horse does that; she must have a lot of potential for dressage? We’re starting to get a little frustrated with sellers who think the main qualification for “prospect” status is the horse having no experience in the discipline!
And really, why even go there? The Arab/Belgium breeding is a little WTF unto itself, but in this case it produced a reasonably attractive mare. Her legs could stand to be a little more “sturdy”, but she’s fairly well-balanced as a whole. But it’s still a mix that will likely appeal more to someone wanting a good husband horse for trail rides than anyone looking for a serious dressage prospect.
So why not get out of her face, take a few pictures of her toodling around with her nose poking out, instead of being cranked into this extreme (and extremely unattractive!) frame, and just advertise her as a solid trail horse? You know, what she’s actually experienced at? We bet Freedom would be a hell of a lot happier!
“”Freedom” is a registered 1/2 Arab 1/2 Belgian 9-year old mare. She is fully broke and is an easy keeper. She is a willing mare and is super sound. Ridden mostly trails with busy streets! Loves to be ridden. Would make excellent DRESSAGE PROSPECT. Sturdy legs with well-shaped hoofs make for an absolute dreamy soft ride atop this lovely beauty! Must sell due to job loss and down-sizing. WILL SACRIFICE SOME ON PRICE TO RIGHT OWNER! “
|Foal Date||Jun 2003|
|Markings||Flaxen Mane and Tail|
|Disciplines||Western Pleasure (Trained)
Trail Horse (Trained)
Youth/4-H Horse (Prospect)
|Temperament||4 (1=Bombproof, 10=Hot)|
Just in case you were curious!