What is with Quarter Horse people? First of all, how is this an attractive horse? Secondly, how is this massive bulk supposed to perform? DOES NO ONE REMEMBER THAT THE FEATS CALLED FOR IN THE SHOW RING WERE ORIGINALLY TO TEST THE HORSES SUITABILITY FOR A SPECIFIC TASK?! The only “job” this horse is suitable for is bouncer at a strip club where they waive clean needles instead of singles in gyno-row.
We’re all for substance but come on people, this is a wee bit extreme.
Are there steroids for horses now? And, if so, do those horses get ‘roid rage?
Did you know that you can breed your mares to this fabulous stud for the low, low price of $5000? If that’s not enough to seal the deal, the breeders offer an HYPP Guarantee! That’s right! If your foal is “unregisterable due to HYPP restrictions by AQHA you will be entitled to a rebreed.” Because, drum roll please, this horse is HYPP N/H! Excellent! Let’s contribute to continuing this relatively easily eradicable disease! But hey, at least if your foal is likely to die, they’ll give ya a do-over.
As a steroid enthusiast, will he too suffer from testicular atrophy like his homo sapien brethren?
Commentary from a concerned (but still amused) reader: “This is the guy who is always at the weights EVERY time you go to the gym. everyone secretly laughs at him because he can’t even wipe his butt properly. (apparently he’s “running” in this picture!)”
Similarly, how would this horse even turn his head? Does that neck bend at all?
On a more serious note, we did some research on HYPP and did you know that “a secondary characteristic associated with N/H and H/H horses is heavy, bulky muscling that is favored by stock horse judges”. As per above, what is wrong with Quarter Horse owners?!? Y’all are your own worst enemies!
Speaking of attractiveness… Pretty sure these dudes qualify for King of the Douches status.
Steroids kill (sperm count and the user’s appeal to the opposite sex). ICK.
ps. There is a signature on the pictures and we would love to give credit to the photographer (after all, they are nice pics and it’s not their fault the horse is a ‘roid monkey!), but we were unable to decipher it – however, more information about this stud can be found at www.kidsclassicstyle.com.
I was looking for sale ads the other day for free horses – the idea was to post a few free ads of decent horses with an outrageously priced sale ad and see if anyone could guess which was the horse owned by the people with their heads shoved up their ass. I may still do that but, for now, I’m stuck on the following sale ad brought to us by the letter “e” for equine.com.
|Foal Date||May 2008|
|Registrations||IAHA – Half-Arabian Horse Association ()|
|Temperament||5 (1=Bombproof, 10=Hot)|
“Show is a beautifully marked tall and elegant 3 year old colt. Very well bred with both sire and dam exhibiting classic Arabian type- liquid eyes, typey heads, beautiful necks and a wonderful laid back shoulder that make them a dream to ride. If this colt were “perfect”, he’d be pricey.
Show was born with oddly shaped back feet. My goal is to place him in a wonderful home with access to a talented farrier with the ability to work with him on a regular schedule to try to bring him to as close to “normal” as possible.
If you’re looking for a really neat horse and you’re willing to take the time to work with his feet, please contact me. Please note that I will require a contract and references – I have 3 years invested in him and do not want any harm to come to him.
If you are under the age of eighteen, please make sure you have parental permission before contacting me. They will need to provide references on your behalf.
Will add new photos as soon as the weather clears.
Step right up! That’s right! It’s a deal of a lifetime! You (yes YOU!) can own your very own half-Arabian x Pinto stallion! From now on everywhere you go people will whisper in awe, “what the fraggle rock was she thinking?”. [aside: if you follow us on Twitter you'll get the fraggle rock comment ]
Oh, sorry, that’s my bad, I spelled “aww” wrong above – please go ahead and mentally fix that. Thanks.
WHO THE F*#% – errr, I mean, FRAGGLE ROCK – wants a STUD with fraggled up hind feet?
And I’m sorry but you have “3 years invested in him”? You can’t even afford to properly care for your horse! What exactly have you invested? The horse is in need of corrective farrier-ing and … hmm what was that other thing he needed? Hold on, let me think. Oh that’s right: GELDING!! Methinks you should cut your losses and accept the fact that he should NOT be bred and should be given to someone who will love him for the jumbled up mess he and his “oddly shaped” bad feet are. This is of course is assuming that the seller “invested” some time and did some basic training with him. We can only hope.
Moral of the story: Don’t try to pawn your mistakes off on other people and if you’re going to breed horses, at LEAST make sure you can properly care for them!
Sorry, guess I should have said “morals of the story”
I’m sure most of you have heard of the Sphynx cats:
and Chinese Crested dogs:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is a hairless horse. And this little filly isn’t the only one! There have been sporadic reported cases over the years. Records of this phenomena appear to go as far back as 1871, then there was Blue Bell in 1872 and finally Harry made it into the papers in 2003 (the Q&A with Harry’s owner that we linked to, by the way, is amazing – we love to read about people who love their horses as much as this woman did Harry). We tried to find more information from other sources on the so called “world wide web” however, google let us down this time. The only sites we found that appeared even remotely credible were ultimatehorsesite.com (where we found Harry!) which had a page with an email from an Akhal-Teke breeder – which eventually got us here. Apparently the above filly is actually an Akhal-Teke. This breed is known to suffer from something called Hairless Foal Syndrome – it ain’t pretty (and we don’t just mean that aesthetically, it’s a lethal and painful disease)
It’s interesting to note that the Akhal-Teke breeder and Harry’s owner both talked about inbreeding. Is hairlessness really the result of a recessive gene as suggested here, or perhaps a faulty gene (see 3rd paragraph here for info on faulty genes) brought on by inbreeding? The British royals stopped inbreeding a while ago. If it’s good enough for the British, it’s good enough for the horses! We’re just sayin’, 3 eyes happen y’all…
Here’s a pic of Harry – isn’t he adorable?
It’s that time of the year again. The leaves are falling, the day is shorter and the temperature is heading towards the dreaded zero. It’s at this time that the cute little woodland critters go into hibernation. We wish this stud would go into hibernation too!
This horse was found advertised as a stud and sent to us by a concerned (read amused) reader.
Apparently this talented stud “is stamping his foals with his gorgeous head.” Hide your nuts, there’s more chipmunks coming! Ladies and gentlemen, please have your boarding passes ready as we are now boarding the direct flight to Geldingtopia!
The owners of this amazing stud are also selling this beautiful filly (on dreamhorse.com) who “has alot of eye appeal”. Hopefully their bastardization of the English language goes beyond “alot” and instead of “appeal” they mean “a peel” – as in “I’m gonna go a peel that horrible image from my eyes” (said with a redneck twang, please).
My (DE) first comment upon seeing this filly’s neck went something along the lines of “oh good gawd, what’s wrong with her neck?!” Seriously, it looks like this baby was hitting the gym with Mr. I Have a Small Peep Body Builder (but his friends call him Ranger ‘Roid). To which JG gave me a withering stare and not-so-gently reminded me of the ever popular “fitting” and “sweating” techniques. She had kindly linked to these in our previous post “It’s Just a Baby!” and which can, once again, be viewed here and here.
ps. We realize this filly is currently bum-high but if you look closely and draw a line from her hocks to her knees – she’s most likely going to have a downhill build even when she’s full grown. Yet another example of humans gradually, and successfully, breeding away the useful characteristics of these once beautiful, working horses.
You just got lolcatz’d